12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
