is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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