The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
