What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
whose ass print is on the piano?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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