She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
