the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
