im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
