Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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