forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
