Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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