bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
