O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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