my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she pinky promised me she was 18
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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