Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
