So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
