Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize