ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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