i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
