hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Randomize
