I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
