Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
