Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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