We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
