I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
