is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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