People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
