When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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