Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
