Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize