I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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