Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize