dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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