Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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