I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
