and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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