I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
