I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
