Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
