six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have post one night stand depression
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