You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
