the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
are you so shy because you have an std?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize