Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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