he told me I talked like a deaf person
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
