1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize