she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
