fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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