Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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