I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
