Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
