Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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