so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
