ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
time to smoke my breakfast
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
