I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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