So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
