windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
