He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize