Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
