We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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