it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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