He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
