listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
