New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
