is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize