if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
